3 Types of People you need…
In times of struggle
We need people. Whether we like to admit this fact or not, the truth remains that WE (the collective human population) cannot succeed or thrive without social/emotional/physical interactions. In fact, several researches conducted have continuously shown that humans need each other. According to Emiliana Simon Thomas, PhD holder and science director of the Greater Good Science center at the University of California, Berkeley; “Human beings are an ultra social species- and our nervous system expect to have others around”. Basically, the sciences (biology, neuroscience and psychology), continuously demonstrate that our need for human interaction leads to optimal functionality.
The need for people especially makes itself known during hard times. During the moments where we feel like the whole world is against us and our efforts are futile, we long for a caring glance, a warm hug, an encouraging smile and an open hand to let us know we are not alone. Even when we isolate ourselves, parts of us long for someone to not only remember who we are but come searching for us and lead us to safety.
The past couple of days have been fraught with the threat of homelessness but through friends/family, I have been reminded that there are kind people out there and people are necessary to make life and its stresses bearable. So, to that end here are the three warriors you need by your side when life tries to take you out
This individual is the sympathetic and compassionate hug you need. When they bound into the room, vulnerability suddenly comes to the fore and you feel safe knowing you can completely break down in front of them. They are judgement free, empathetic and cater to our needs during your tumultuous periods. If I could describe them in food terms, they are the hot cup of chocolate, the comfort soup of choice, or the hearty pasta dish. You recognize them from the calm they bring to your chaos. While your mind races and rants unintelligibly, they listen calmly, understanding that in this moment what you need is a compassionate ear. They check on you, encouraging you with their presence and words of wisdom to let you know you are valued.
The Straight Shooter
This is the friend you call when you need a kick up the ass. They are the straight talking, non-sugar coating, lets find a solution kind of friend. If they were a drink, they would be vodka, tequila or a sour lemon drink. This person is not for the faint -hearted. They have no time to placate or entertain your woe is me attitude. Nope. Not only do they force you to find solutions, they are also on deck helping you come out with action plans, action verbs and a killer mindset to propel you beyond the current situation. You might get pissed off with their no-frills attitude, and that’s okay. Ultimately, they have your best interest at heart. When you pick up the phone to call or what-app this person, know what you are getting into and be prepared. Who knows, it might be just the thing you need to strategize your come up.
Where would we be in this life without helpers? The world around us thrives on the presence of helpers. They run on kindness, understanding the reverberating and long-lasting effort of reaching out a helpful hand. Where the other two might take on an abstract form, formidable helpers are action oriented. They are usually easy to recognize. They are the ones who show up and help you when you need to move, they help buy your groceries when you are in a bind or babysit when you are feeling extremely overwhelmed. They are the ones who leave you in awe at human beings’ capacity for kindness. Quite frankly, they are the ones you remember when you make it.
I have been blessed to have such people in my life who continuously show up during hard times and in turn they teach me compassion and empathy. They teach me the ultimate lesson in paying it forward and reach out a helping hand to others in need. The beauty about this is that these characteristics can present themselves in that one individual that could be a family member, a friend, a neighbor or even a stranger. Whatever the case may be, it is important to recognize these people, and keep them by your side not for what they can do for you, but simply for the fact that they value your existence. If you do not have these people by your side, I would encourage you to be open. If experience has taught me anything, they are out there!
So, to the warriors out there lifting others up, I salute!
I am curious have you encountered these people in your life?